DMV COMMANDMENTS

From Quaggapedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

01 THOU SHALT

Make every effort to decorate/create/conjure your golf cart, truck, limo, etc.

2 THOU SHALT NOT

Steal, commandeer or ‘borrow’ any official form of transportation.

Theft or destruction of any vehicle will not be tolerated – we reserve the right to eject anyone caught acting in this way.

3 THOU SHALT NOT

Try to get on, impede, or stop a moving art car, Mutant Vehicle, plane, balloon, helicopter or any other flying or driving device.

4 THOU SHALT

Dance around, wave your arms, and ask politely to get onto a passing Mutant Vehicle:

Once the Mutant Vehicle has come to a complete stop,

(if needed) ask for assistance or hop on the vehicle in a safe, appropriate manner (remember: be sure to thank the driver).

If the Mutant Vehicle does not stop for whatever reason, do not attempt to run down, jump on, hog- tie, and/or bitch at the vehicle or driver.

05 THERE IS NO RULE 5

Proceed to Rule 6, do not collect R200. Stay outta jail. Pour yourself a beer. Take a deep breath. Be nice to small animals and remember to call your mother from time to time.

And for crying out loud, stop worrying about your weight. You’re beautiful just the way you are. Right. Where were we? Oh yes…keep reading, you’re nearly done!

06 THOU SHALT NOT

Attempt to get on nor attempt to get off a moving Mutant Vehicle (in case you never got that the first time).

07 THOU SHALT NOT

Hijack, hoodwink, harass or harangue the driver whilst they are in command and control of the Mutant Vehicle.

08 THOU SHALT NOT

Operate any Mutant Vehicle and/or its artistic additions without permission of its owner(s)/operator(s) including the firing of cannons, potato cannons, sawdust cannons, use of attractive body parts of vehicle occupants, sounds and light systems, etc…

09 THOU SHALT

Have a good time (like you need telling)..

10 THOU SHALT

Help look out for the safety of your fellow freaks, aliens, and even passersby at all times - even if they’re ex-girlfriends who have recently slept with your father.

11 THOU SHALT

Report any safety issues, violations, and/ or problems to Rangers and DMV immediately.

12 THOU SHALT

Have a registered Mutant Vehicle driver, who will be required to wear a laminate provided by your sexy DMV on registration, in addition to their driver’s wristband.

13 ALL MUTANT VEHICLES

Should have an all-purpose (Dry Chemical Powder) fire extinguisher and a comprehensive first-aid kit.

14 ALL MUTANT VEHICLES TOWING TRAILERS MUST HAVE CONDUCTERS AND WALKERS

If your MV is found without, it will be stopped until you have the crew to fulfill this requirement.

15 PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR VEHICLE BEHIND

If it’s broken down, please head to Off-Centre Camp and enquire about how you can contact the landowners.


Mutant Vehicles